Nothing to fear but fear itself.

I really hate not knowing things. In business, in parenting, in life...I fear what I don't know. I would consider myself a bit of a control freak. I usually want to do things myself so I know it's done right. Or, at least it's done in the exact way I want it to be...which is the right way of course. But there are certain thing that I want to be able to do myself but have absolutely no idea where to begin. Sometimes I rely on the internet being the answer to everything. If I don't know something, I assume I can just Google it and learn how. Boy is that not true. Sure I can find good information but there is usually so much that it's overwhelming and often contradicting. Take, for example, improving my website SEO. I don't have the money to pay someone to do it for me so I'm trying to learn how to do it on my own. The problem is, I don't even understand what half the terminology means so how am I expected to execute any of the things they tell me to do. At my daughter's t-ball practice this week, she accidentally put her glove on the wrong hand. When asked about it by the coach, I could see her head slowly fall and from 30 feet away I knew tears were imminent. As I thought, the second the coach was done showing her the right way, she burst into tears. He looked over at me in the bleachers with panic on his face. I should mention that Ella is one of only two other girls on an all boys team so the coach was very confused by this response. She came off the field and I tried telling her over and over again that it was ok not to know how to do something and that's why she was there learning. It was so easy for me to say that to her. It was so easy for me to tell her it was ok to forget or not know. As I watched her walk back on the field and finish out the practice with no more tears, I felt a sense of sadness combined with pride. I was really sad that she felt embarrassed or not knowledgeable. I knew exactly how she felt but there I was telling her it was ok. I was so proud of her for getting out there in the first place when she hasn't played before and I was even prouder that she got back out there after her meltdown. I'm not sure I would have even gone out there in the first place out of fear of failing. Sometimes I wonder if I am getting in my own way of making UnderBib Baby a success. I fear failing so I hold back. I should follow the lead of my daughter. She pulled herself together and went right back to work. What keeps me going...facing fears.

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