A World Away

Sometimes getting away for even one night without kids feels like being in another universe. While we don't do it often enough, my husband and I try to get away for a night or two every so often to regroup. Even 24 hours away from the house makes us feel we are a world away. I dream of going on a "long date" (as we refer to it) constantly but then when it comes time, I put so much pressure on that one child-free night, that I stress myself out. Yes, I'm pretty nuts. We went away this past weekend and all I could think leading up to it was that I had one chance to sleep all the way through the night and sleep in. That's a lot of pressure to put on a self-diagnosed insomniac. How could I possibly sleep through the night when my body is used to waking up a million times? The answer is, I can't. I need to change the expectations. Maybe I won't be able to sleep all night and I might wake up early but I can at least look forward to laying in bed, drinking coffee, without interruption. Really, that's worth every penny spent on the trip. I love getting away for that one or two nights but I always miss the kids like crazy. I am excited to leave but even more excited to see their faces when I get home. We all need to take a step back sometimes to appreciate what we have. When you are in the midst of it day in and day out, it's hard to see what a wonderful world it is. That being said, after being home 24 hours, I'm planning the next long date. What keeps me going...it will only get easier to leave the kids as they get older and one day we will be able to take advantage of Groupon travel deals.

Suicide Watch

I read a funny quote one day that compared being the parent of a toddler to a 24 hour suicide watch. I laughed out loud because of the truth in that statement. There is something magnificent about 18 months old. They know so much and absorb everything. They want to explore, repeat, and entertain. They also want to climb to the highest places in the house and then look around, unbalanced, to make sure someone is seeing how tall they feel at that moment. My son is going to give me a heart attack like his brother and sister before him did. I want him to explore and be proud of himself for doing new things but can't help but picture all the scenarios that can come out of that. Being the 3rd child, he gets away with a lot more than Ella and William did. I watched Ella like a hawk. I pretty much knew how every fall or scrape happened. With William, I knew at least 75% of his scrapes because he was a calmer child and Ella had moved beyond the "danger" phase at that point. I maybe catch 35% of what happens with Luke. I'm usually relying on the witnesses (ie. Ella and William) to tell me what happened. It's more like an interrogation because there are many sides to the story and of course, they had "absolutely nothing to do with it". A great friend told me something recently that stuck in my head. She said we needed to remember to "parent" our third child. We forget to explain why the answer is no or why they can't keep climbing on a bar stool. We say no and that it's dangerous but don't continue on like we did with the first or second. We forget that we need to repeat over and over why it's dangerous and what could happen if they keep doing it so one day they will understand. What keeps me going...18 months is an exhausting age but I try every day to absorb who he is at this moment in an effort to always remember how insanely cute he is right now.

100th Day

I've done a lot of reflecting today on the passage of time and my children. Today is my daughter, Ella's, 100th day of Kindergarten. I didn't know this was such a big deal but it is celebrated in every local elementary grade level with projects and a party. As I walked her to school with pigtails in her hair, I was picturing the little 18 month old with pigtails that barely fit in rubber bands. How did my baby, my first born, get to be 5 1/2 and half way through Kindergarten. Coincidentally, today was also registration day for my older son William's second and last year of Preschool. And to take that even a step further, I will be lining up to sign my youngest, Luke, up for Preschool at this time next year. I appreciate every day with my kids and try not to think too far in the future but days like today really put it in perspective. As I stood in line drinking my coffee and chatting with the other parents in line at 3am, I realized how much we do as parents but even more so, how much our children do for us. Don't get me wrong, I often dream of those days when I only had to worry about myself and try so hard to remember what it felt like to wake up on a weekend morning with my husband and lay in bed deciding what to do for the day. Or the evenings my husband and I spent playing scrabble and drinking martinis. I think of those days often but wouldn't trade what I have now for anything. One day, my kids won't want to climb in bed with me or cuddle with me on the couch. One day they will stop asking me to watch every move they make. I try to remind myself each and every day that I am lucky to have that moment with them. Every moment. While not every moment is fun or perfect, the moments are still ours. What keeps me going...time flies and there are so many millions of moments to come.

Thrown Together

I always wonder how someone becomes a famous chef. What makes their recipes better than others? Do they really come up with the recipes on their own? I doubt it since most have names like "Mom's meatloaf" or "Aunt Sally's chicken pot pie". Are they just great personalities that people enjoy listening to? It must be. I love to cook but only like using recipes as a reference guide. I like going on websites like Allrecipes, Food Network, ThePioneerWoman, etc. and look at a dozen different recipes for the same type of meal and then take a little of this and a little of that from each one. I learned the "Thrown Together" technique from my mom. I don't remember her ever using exact recipes. She would take out a recipe and then adjust it to what she had in the kitchen or what her tastes were. And if you ever asked her afterwards what she did, she didn't have a measurement for anything. I love that style of cooking. While sometimes it's hard to be consistent, it's much more fun playing with it than following a road map to a tee. I wish I could say the same for baking. I tried this technique with baking and it simply didn't work for me. If I don't follow a baking recipe exactly, it will not come out good. So I'll stick to adventurous cooking and leave the baking exact. What keeps me going...I love to eat and look forward to each new meal I attempt to make. And a nice glass of wine while I do so. There's something wonderful about drinking wine while cooking.

For fun...here is a new recipe I made last night. (NOTE: All measurements are approximate)

Light White Wine Pasta

8-16 oz of any shape pasta you like
1 (or 2 depending on your New Year's Resolution) tbs of butter
2-3 cloves of garlic finely chopped
1/2 large onion or a medium onion finely chopped
~ 1/2 cup milk (any percentage will do but I used whole)
~ 3/4 cup of white wine (I used chardonnay)
2 Roma tomatoes diced up. You could probably use canned petite diced tomatoes but I would drain the juice.
~ 1 tbs dried basil (fresh would probably be better but I didn't have it
~ 3/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
salt and pepper to taste (Don't you hate when they say "to taste"? It really is true though)

Boil water, cook pasta. Drain but keep a little pasta liquid in case you need more moisture at the end.

Saute the garlic and onion in the tablespoon (or 2) of butter.
Add wine and reduce for a few minutes.
Drink some of the wine.
Add the basil
Add the milk, tomatoes, and Parmesan cheese.
Take another sip of wine.
Add salt and pepper "to taste".
Let it all simmer for 20 or so minutes if you have the time.
Toss it all together and top with more Parmesan cheese because you really can never have enough.

What's in a name...

When I decided to work on this blog "for real", I liked the name The Mommy Entrepreneur because that's how I was feeling at the time. I realize now, that I am a different person all the time. Sometimes I'm an entrepreneur, sometimes I'm a mom, but there are a lot of other roles and people I tend to be. Sometimes I am a taxi driver, taking kids from one place to the next. Some days I am a personal shopper outfitting my family in the appropriate seasonal wear. Some days I am a housekeeper scrubbing the bathroom floor. I'm a one woman laundromat doing many, many...many loads of laundry a week. I'm a chef preparing the different meals of the day. I am a personal assistant that fills and delivers sippy cups instead of cups of coffee. So depending on the different hat I'm wearing at the time, I am now feeling that my blog name doesn't fit me. So be prepared...a new name is most likely forthcoming. We, as parents, are chameleons (yes, I had to spell check that). We need to morph from one role to the next seamlessly. Well, I strive for seamless but it doesn't always work out that way. I want to be good at all my different roles and some days I just end up feeling like I failed at all of them. Why is it so easy to tell a friend not to be so hard on themself but we can't take that same advice ourself. It's impossible to do everything perfectly as much as we want to. And I think it's impossible to know exactly who we are or even who we want to be all the time. I never thought at 33 that I would be unclear as to my role and who I was. In a short 3 1/2 years, all my kids will be in school. I feel like even though I am the full time care giver right now, how will my kids being in school 5 days a week change me as a person. I went from a girlfriend, then wife working full time to someone's mommy full time. And now with three kids 5 years and under, I am the ring leader of a wonderful circus that includes mommyhood, marriage, and business on the side. What will my circus look like in a couple years. It's exciting but scary at the same time. What keeps me going...if everything was laid out for us, there would be a lot less excitement in life.

New Year, New Beginnings

I don't particularly like New Years. I know it's supposed to be an exciting night, counting down, drinking champagne, kissing your partner at midnight, and toasting to the year to come. A fresh start. Other than the champagne, which I never need an excuse to drink, I think it's somewhat of a let down. There is always so much pressure on the evening itself but with three kids under 6, it's an early night with not a lot of noise. It also signifies the end of the holidays. All the craziness, the family, the decorating, the baking, the shopping. Everything abruptly comes to an end New Years Day. We are supposed to see it as a new beginning with so many possibilities. That's a lot of pressure. As the time got closer to January 1st, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the thought that I needed a new plan for the New Year. That I need a new business strategy. I need to have a goal for the year but my brain wouldn't let me work it out. I had a conversation with my husband about my lack of enthusiasm and where to go from here and he was very encouraging which helped pull me out of my funk. I still don't have a defined plan but I will work on it. At least I have a first few steps to get the new year started off right. What keeps me going...the fact that no matter my negative attitude, there are always possibilities and you never know what life will throw you. Happy New Year!